We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to other people.
According to social comparison theory, much of our sense of self-worth and even our sense of personal identity comes from how we see ourselves "stacking up" to other people we may know. These can be friends, family members, neighbours, or, in many cases, famous people we might not ever met but who have accomplished things we wish we could do ourselves.
Unfortunately, this sort of comparison can often lead to a sense of despair if we regard ourselves as falling short of the standard these other people set for us. Such despair can shape how we view our careers, our accomplishments, our personal appearance, and just about every aspect of our personal lives.
Perhaps not surprisingly, relying on social comparison can also make us feel inadequate in terms of how we view our social life (i.e., how many parties or social gatherings we attend, how many dates we have, how many people we happen to know, etc.)
In other words, our "social resume," which for a variety or reasons, never seems to be as spectacular as the highly social lives,of other people we happen to know about. It also ties into the dreaded "fear of missing out" (FOMO for short), that persistent belief that something exciting is happening somewhere else that we are missing out on.
Research studies over the years have consistently shown that evidence for this social comparison effect. In recent years however, much of this research has focused on the influence of social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. Since self-promotion is pretty much the main purpose of these platforms, we are often besieged by pictures and videos of people attending social shindigs or major events that can make our own lives seem drab by comparison, Not surprisingly, many Facebook users are increasingly reporting becoming depressed as a result.
To read more, check out my new Psychology Today blog post.
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